Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize
