Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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