Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
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