it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is