Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
