sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
