Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(925): View more from California

im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy

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(917): View more from New York City

SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.

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(415): View more from California

Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.

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(586): View more from Michigan

No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.

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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(514): View more from Quebec

i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.

(617): View more from Massachusetts

Barney's a jerk

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(225): View more from Louisiana

Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt

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(517): View more from Michigan

for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.

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(419): View more from Ohio

I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.

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