He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
