she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.