batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...