Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(805): View more from California

before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.

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(808): View more from Hawaii

and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.

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(650): View more from California

Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...

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(856): View more from New Jersey

It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.

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These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
Read it at the TFLN blog
(210): View more from Texas

Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.

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(208): View more from Idaho

Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf

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(605): View more from South Dakota

You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.

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(303): View more from Colorado

You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.

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(256): View more from Alabama

Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out

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