omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
