i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
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I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
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I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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