just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
