are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
