if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize