Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
did i just pee glitter
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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