Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
