so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize