Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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