i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
