Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
