fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
