I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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