Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
