I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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