first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
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