Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize