Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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