Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
