we should wear snuggies to the strip club
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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