It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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