he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize