Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
