So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
it's great music for shaving your balls
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
