I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize