i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
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Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
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She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Text me some of your sweat
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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