To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Randomize
