I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
And the cops told us we were all naked.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Randomize
