dude i'm inner monologue high
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize