There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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