I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
