already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
