would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
