Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize