I need help removing her.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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