I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
