I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
