I'm lost and stupid without you.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
