3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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