Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
