cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
