A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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