i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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