That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Randomize
