Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
