i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
