Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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